Untitled

అలై ఎగిసెనే ప్రశ్నలు,

కథగా మారుటకు విరిసిన కలలు,

కడలి అంచున చెరిగిన రాతలా,

నువ్వు వదిలిన ఈ ఏకాంతమున,

నే తేరి చూడగా,

రాలిన కన్నీరే ఆగునా...

दर्द जो तोड़के बहा

रात जब बिना क़यामत चलपड़ा

कैसे रोकूं मैं वो आँसुओं को...

दाग जो whiskey के पड़े हैं इस कागज़ पे

ना मिटापाएँ हर वह लिखित आस मेरे

दिल जो गुज़र रहि वह तन्हाई

ना जाने कब तक सेह पाउँगा

क्या यह हमारे ज़िंदगी कि कहानी

अधूरा प्यार कि तरह रह जाएगी...

As I swim the oblivion,

I think of the love we could have had,

and the void that happened between us...

#relationship

Edited by Yamuna

Introspection: Relationships I

Growing up, I've had difficulty in communicating with people. The subjects of my interest did not seem to be in line with my peer group. The inability to find multiple common grounds created a soft barrier. A discussion based on a single mutual interest lasted for a few hours or kept alive the thoughts for a few days. In the lack of a filler, those relations died down pretty soon.

The young adolescent in me came up with a coping-up mechanism. Keep the conversations short, but intense. Spend not too much time with the same person. Collect the memories and cherish them. I assumed that this should keep the conduit open for emotions to flow both ways while I hide the barrier in plain sight.

The earliest flaw I recognized with the mechanism was that I could not live without conversations. If I kept pushing people away, how do I engage my thoughts, emotions, and time? I quickly embraced social media platforms to be able to stay in touch with friends from years ago. I even made new friends. In essence, I found myself among many instead of a few: no best friends, everyone is a friend.

Over the years, I turned nomadic. I was moving places, meeting new people, engaging and disengaging in conversations. Throughout this, I thought I was empathetic. I felt I would have been there for each of them if they needed me. It took until now to realize that I left them by themselves. Even those moments I was there by their side, it just feels like a coincidence.

The ability to express emotions happens only in a conducive environment. Most people internalize and are unable to find safe spaces to express these thoughts. How could they do it with a person who wasn't there with them? In essence, while the little experimental mechanism shielded and protected me, I lost track of a fundamental emotion in life.

The realization that I wasn't around to be that ear, the shoulder, the vent, or the safe space for people in my life overwhelms me today. I'm taking baby steps at 30. I am trying to be there, starting with those I met in the last couple of years. I am trying to repair the bonds and hope to create safe spaces for people in my life.

Being able to express my own emotions, fears, and struggles, rejuvenated the conduits with a few of my friends. For now, as I evolve, I started with peers and those younger than me. It feels more comfortable to communicate, given my self-barriers, and the imperative that I stand with them and not let them slide away from expressing their emotions. I hope to continue on the path, and probably on one day be able to reforge the same with my parents.

#perspectiveat30 #relationship

Talking Politics

Oxford defines Politics as "the activities involved in getting and using power in public life, and being able to influence decisions that affect a country or a society".

Whether to discuss politics, let alone aspiring for power or not is an individual decision. Yet, I use conversations on politics to discern empathetic traits in an individual.

Most governance policies have limited direct impact on us as individuals. Hence, many find it convincing to take a neutral stance on decisions. "Those on top know better than us" seems to be the general ideology. The silence of us, collectively, is taken as a grant by politicians to continue with their agenda. Issues like "Citizenship Amendment Act in India", "National Security Legislation: Hong Kong/China", and "Executive Orders by Donald Trump", drove deep wedges between the pro and the opposing groups.

Topics such as those listed above, when discussed, draw a picture of personal beliefs, knowledge sourcing and consumption patterns, and the ability to think through a multitude of spectrum. Society influencing decisions need scrutiny through the lenses of past, present and the future. Stepping into someone's shoes is not about what you would do if in their position, but, to comprehend what they feel in a situation.

Conversation discussing politics help substantially in assessing the skills of an individual to listen, understand and express, the primary empathetic tools in a holistic relationship. The inherent biases, ability to learn and unlearn, perception of power, expectations from the society, are a few impressions that help in setting a tone for building a relationship.

A general expression at this stage could be "aren't you overthinking?". True. We've seen our parents live together for decades despite their differences in politics. Two different thought process can co-exist. But, that ability to not go to war, but co-exist, can also be primarily understood through the above approach.

A politically active individual can pair with an apolitical. Two opposing sides of ideology can still live together. For those whom relationships are not just compatibility, but bringing the best in each other, understanding the process behind the evolution of their ideology will be crucial.

I believe relationships should not be to meet societal norms but to feel connected with another in the real sense to inspire the best in you and of them. That's how you build a better world, especially if you plan to raise kids!

#perspectiveat30 #politics #relationship